I haven’t blogged since we left Seattle. I know that you are on the EDGE OF YOUR SEAT waiting for an update! Here is a list of highlights from the past few months:
Jason and I drove from Seattle to Austin in 3 days with 2 cars, 2 dogs and 0 kids. We slept in our cars 1 night. You don’t need to mention this to our parents because we told them that we stayed at a hotel. They seemed to think we would get murdered if we spent the night in a parking lot so we did what any other grown adult would do – we lied to our parents. Look, the dog situation is complicated. And we had A LOT of stuff in our cars. Apparently, I would be murdered before my face cream got stolen. Moving on, we knew we were in Texas when we saw the Blue Bell Ice Cream Truck!
We met our neighbors the first day we were here and we absolutely fell in love with our neighborhood and our little street. We live on a cul-de-sac where the kids ride their bikes and scooters and play out in the street; and the grown-ups watch from camping chairs in the driveway talking about anything and everything. We celebrate each others birthdays and the guys have “garage beers” almost every Friday night. Jason and I are still pinching ourselves – we feel so blessed that the Lord led us here to this community. We have neighbors from Colorado, Nebraska, California, Florida, Illinois, New York and even a few native Texans. This area is one of the fastest growing in the United States. People – just like us – are moving here from all over!
Sam and Faith both love school. Love, love, love it. They have made friends and we have found a local church (Northpoint Austin) where we are serving. Jason is helping to lead the preschoolers at large group time. He is so good with the kids and he has so much fun teaching them.
For a while I cried every time that it rained because I missed Seattle so much. Don’t get me wrong, I love Austin. Things are wonderful here. But I missed what was familiar.
I was also afraid. I was afraid that my best days were behind me. I would grow old and tell stories to my grand children and refer to them my “church planting days”.
I felt lost. I knew that He was calling me to a new thing but I had no idea what it was. I wanted to go back to the old thing. I did.
The old thing was better than the idea of the unknown.
I heard Him saying, “Tell your story.” I have wanted to write for some time now but didn’t feel like I was good enough. I was good at fashion and decorating and making chocolate chip cookies. Maybe, I thought, I should do one of those things.
So, I applied for a job at Nordstrom because I am stubborn and disobedient and also because of shoes and employee discounts. And the part of me that wanted the old thing back thought that maybe one day I could move back to Seattle and do the old thing some more. But I can’t. And Nordstrom never called. And I am okay with that. And He still whispered “Tell your story.”
It took some time and a good bit of wrestling. It took a lot of heart examining and a little bit of therapy. And it took a trip to IF:Gathering where I finally could not ignore Him anymore. There, surrounded by His presence and nearly a thousand other women, I wept for the new thing.
I wept because I heard His voice and I could not be disobedient anymore. He was still there saying, “Tell your story.”
I wept because I realized I was still so afraid. The new thing is to write. To be a writer. To tell my story. To tell God’s story.
I realized how afraid I was. I am afraid to fail. I am terribly afraid to promote myself on social media. I am afraid of criticism. And I am afraid to offend people. What if I offend my non-Christian friends with all of my Jesus talk? And what if I offend my Southern Baptist friends when they find out how much I love my gay friends?
If I’m honest, I have been worshiping fear. Fear is a terrible god to worship. I can’t bow down to fear any longer. So I’m just going to write. I am more afraid of missing out on the adventure that Christ has for me. Even if I fail. He never fails.
A friend sent this scripture to me just yesterday and I wrote it down in my prayer journal and have prayed it several times already. I am keeping it before me so that I do not forget.
Don’t revel only in the past, or spend all your time recounting the victories of days gone by. Watch closely: I am preparing something new; it is happening now, even as I speak, and you’re about to see it. I am preparing a way through the desert; waters will flow where there had been none. Isaiah 43:18-19, The Voice Bible
What is the thing Christ is calling you to?
What is holding you back?
How can I pray for you?
Comment or send me an e-mail so I can be praying for you! Or message me on twitter @beckyanncole